Finding The Observer

Finding the Observer

A Guided Self-Hypnosis Experience

By Katherine Long, CMS-CHt

Welcome and Introduction

Welcome to Finding the Observer. I'm Katherine Long, a clinical hypnotherapist, and I'm glad you're here.

Today, I'd like to introduce you to a remarkable ability of the human mind. An ability you already possess, and one that you can develop and strengthen with practice.

It's the ability to observe your own experience. To notice your thoughts as they arise. To recognize your emotions as you feel them. And to discover that within this awareness, there may be more choices available to you than you previously realized.

During our time together, we'll explore two different perspectives from which we can experience life: the Experiencing Self and the Observing Self.

Then I'll guide you on a gentle journey of imagination, where you'll discover something rather special. A small, portable remote control that represents your ability to influence how you relate to your thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences.

And because this remote exists within your imagination, it can become a familiar resource that you can call upon whenever you choose.

This experience is intended to support self-awareness, relaxation, and emotional well-being. It is a complementary practice and is not a substitute for professional mental health care.

As always, please save this experience for a time when you are safely away from driving and other activities that require your full attention.

Find a comfortable place to sit, and let's begin.

Part One: Understanding the Observer

Most of us move through much of our day from a perspective we might call the Experiencing Self. This is the part of our awareness that is actively engaged in living.

We think. We feel. We respond. We interact with the world around us. We experience happiness, disappointment, excitement, frustration, affection, and countless other emotions.

And very often, we identify so closely with these experiences that they become part of how we describe ourselves. We say things like, "I am happy." Or, "I am angry." Or perhaps, "I am sad."

These are perfectly natural ways of expressing ourselves. And yet, there's another way we can begin to understand these experiences.

Consider the difference between saying, "I am sad," and saying, "I feel sad." It's a small change in language, but it offers an interesting change in perspective. When we say, "I feel sad," we're describing an experience we're having, rather than defining who we are.

I find it interesting that some languages offer another way of expressing this relationship with our emotions. Rather than saying "I am sad," certain expressions describe sadness as something that comes over us. In Welch, their phrasing can be translated to, “Sadness is upon me.” Almost as though sadness is a visitor, arriving for a time, becoming part of our experience, and eventually moving along.

I find that a lovely way to think about emotions. They are experiences we have, rather than identities we must carry.

And now, let's take this idea one step further.

What if instead of saying, “I feel sad,” we could say, "I notice that I'm feeling sadness." Can you sense the subtle difference? There is the experience of sadness. And there is also an awareness of that experience.

The part of our awareness that recognizes what we're thinking and feeling is what we'll call the Observing Self. Or simply, the Observer.

The Observer is an ability of awareness that allows us to notice our internal experiences as they happen. And this can be a very useful perspective. Because a thought is something we experience. And an emotion is also something we experience. And our reactions to those thoughts and emotions are experiences we can begin to notice.

We can feel something deeply while also being aware that we're feeling it. We can recognize a thought without immediately deciding that it's true. And we can notice an emotional reaction while allowing ourselves a moment to consider how we'd like to respond.

This ability is sometimes described in psychology as metacognitive awareness, or decentering. But today, we'll simply call it Finding the Observer.

And there's something important I'd like you to understand. Finding the Observer is an invitation to become more present with your experiences, rather than a way to avoid feeling the emotions of the moment. Our emotions are important messengers. They can offer information about our needs, our relationships, our memories, and the things that matter to us. You might think of them as energy in motion, or “E-motion,” arriving with something to tell us.

Emotions often move and change, much like waves in the ocean. A wave may begin as a gentle swell, gradually build in intensity, it might crest, and then soften as it moves toward the shore, eventually returning to the wider ocean.

We can allow ourselves to experience these waves of feeling as they arise, giving them the room and space they need to be expressed. Sometimes an emotion moves through us rather quickly. Other times, it remains for a while, inviting our attention and care.

And just as an ocean wave may leave behind beautiful shells, sea glass, or other treasures along the beach, an emotional experience may leave us with something valuable, too. Perhaps a little more understanding, a new perspective, or some gentle guidance about what we need.

The Observer allows us to witness these waves with curiosity and compassion, remaining present with our emotions while becoming more aware of the messages they may carry. And from this perspective, we may discover that we have choices in how we respond.

Now, let's explore what that might feel like by using the power of our imaginations.

Part Two: Beginning the Journey

Begin by finding a comfortable position for your body. You may be seated or lying down, allowing yourself to settle into a position that feels restful and supported. And whenever you're ready, you may gently close your eyes.

Take a moment to notice your breathing. The gentle movement of air entering your body. And the natural release of each breath.

Perhaps you can notice the surface supporting you. The feeling of your hands resting comfortably. The weight of your arms. The position of your feet.

And as you become aware of these sensations, consider something rather interesting. There is the sensation itself. And there is the awareness that notices it.

Perhaps you can feel your body resting. And at the same time, recognize that you are noticing that feeling. You may even quietly think to yourself... "I notice that my body is resting."

Allow a little time for that awareness. 

And now, perhaps you can notice the gentle rhythm of your breathing. And quietly recognize... "I notice that I am breathing."

There is the experience. And there is the awareness of the experience.

And now, I'd like to invite you to become curious about your thoughts. Perhaps a thought has already appeared. Something about your day. Something you're planning. A memory. An observation. Or perhaps simply the thought that you're listening to my voice.

Whatever arises is welcome. And when you notice a thought, you might quietly acknowledge... "Here is a thought." And perhaps another thought comes along. "Here is another thought."

You may begin to recognize that thoughts can appear naturally, often without any deliberate effort on your part. And you can notice them. Just as you can notice a sound in the distance. Or a breeze moving across your skin.

There is the thought. And there is your awareness of the thought. Take a few moments now to become familiar with this experience.

[Pause]

As you continue resting comfortably, imagine that your awareness is becoming a little more spacious. A little more open. A little more curious.

And now, I'd like to invite you to take a journey with me. A journey to discover something that has been available to you all along.

Part Three: The Path to Discovery

Imagine that you are standing at the beginning of a beautiful pathway. Perhaps this path winds gently through a forest, with sunlight filtering through the branches overhead. Or perhaps it crosses a wide, open meadow, where grasses move softly in the breeze.

Allow your imagination to create a place that feels welcoming to you. Take a moment to look around. Notice the colors. The textures. The quality of the light.

Perhaps there is a gentle breeze moving across your skin here. Perhaps you can hear birds calling in the distance. Or the soft movement of leaves.

Notice the ground beneath your feet. Is your pathway made from smooth stones? Soft earth? Perhaps a carpet of pine needles, or a well-worn trail through the grass.

Take a moment to imagine this comforting place, and fill in all of the unique details.

[Pause]

Very good…when you're ready, begin walking along your path. With each comfortable step, you may find yourself becoming a little more curious about where this journey will lead.

Notice the pleasant rhythm of walking. The movement of your body. The changing scenery around you.

And somewhere up ahead, you begin to notice a structure. A place that seems to be waiting for you.

Perhaps it is a small building nestled among the trees. Perhaps it is a beautiful room with large windows overlooking the landscape. Or perhaps your imagination creates something entirely different. 

As you approach, you begin to recognize something interesting about this place. It is a place from which you can observe. A place where you can notice what is happening around you, while enjoying a sense of comfort and perspective.

Take a moment to look at the structure. What does it look like? What colors do you see? What materials has your imagination chosen? Take a few moments to create this structure.

Very good. And now, walk toward the entrance. Notice the doorway. Perhaps there is a beautiful wooden door, warm and smooth beneath your hand. Or perhaps there is a wide glass entrance, inviting the natural light inside.

Go ahead now, and make your way inside this special place.

Part Four: The Observation Room

As you enter, take a moment to look around. Notice the colors of the walls. The textures of the furnishings. The quality of the light.

Perhaps there is a comfortable chair positioned near a large window. A chair that seems to fit your body perfectly. Go ahead and settle into this chair. Feel how comfortably it supports you.

And as you relax into your seat, allow your gaze to move toward the view outside. Perhaps you can see a beautiful landscape stretching into the distance. Or trees moving gently in the breeze. Clouds drifting slowly across the sky. Birds moving gracefully through the air.

Perhaps there is a body of water somewhere in the distance. A lake. A river. Or a wide, peaceful ocean.

Allow yourself a few moments to simply observe.

[Pause]

Notice how the world continues moving. The clouds drift. The leaves move. The light changes. And here you are, comfortably observing.

You can notice all of these experiences. You can appreciate their movement and their beauty.

And perhaps you begin to recognize that this experience is rather similar to the way you can observe your own thoughts and feelings.

Thoughts can come and go, just like clouds passing across the sky. Emotions can rise and soften, like waves moving across the ocean. And you can become aware of these experiences as they happen.

There is the experience. And there is the awareness of the experience. The Observer.

Perhaps you can quietly recognize... "I am aware." "I am noticing." "I am here."

Allow yourself a moment to enjoy this perspective.

[Pause]

And now, as you look around this beautiful room, you notice something rather interesting. Resting nearby is a small object. Something that seems to be waiting for you.

As you move a little closer, you recognize that it is a remote control. A very special remote control.

Go ahead and pick it up.

Part Five: Discovering Your Observer Remote

Notice how comfortably the remote fits into your hand. Perhaps it is small enough to rest in your palm, with your thumb easily reaching each of its controls.

Take a moment to examine it. What color is it? What is it made from? Does it have a smooth, modern surface? Or is it carved from high-quality wood?

Allow your imagination to create a remote that feels comfortable and natural to use. Perhaps it has a little weight to it. A pleasing texture. A shape that fits your hand just right.

And as you hold it, you notice five different controls. Each one has a simple label. And each one offers a different way to relate to your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Before we explore these controls, I'd like you to notice something important about this remote. It belongs to you. And because it exists within your imagination, it is always available to you.

You can imagine holding it in your hand whenever you choose. At home. At work. During a conversation. Or in any ordinary moment when you would like to become more aware of your internal experience.

You can pause for a moment. Notice what you're thinking or feeling. And imagine this familiar little remote appearing in your hand.

And each time you do, you are practicing something valuable. You are finding the Observer. That quiet, curious awareness that notices your experiences and offers you an opportunity to choose how you'd like to respond.

Gently curl your fingers around your imaginary remote now. Feel its comfortable weight. Its familiar shape. The texture beneath your fingertips. And imagine how easily you might recall this sensation another time.

Now, with your remote resting comfortably in your hand, let's discover what each of these five controls can do.

Part Six: The Judge — Turning Down the Inner Critic

Look at your remote and find the control knob labeled The Judge. Notice how easily it turns in either direction, left or right. This allows you to gently raise or lower the volume of The Judge.

The Judge represents that familiar inner voice that sometimes evaluates and criticizes us. Perhaps you've noticed this voice before. It may compare you with others. It may question your abilities. It may focus on your mistakes. And sometimes it may offer harsh conclusions about who you are.

For some people, this voice has become so familiar that its messages seem like ordinary facts.

And yet, from the perspective of the Observer, something interesting becomes possible. You can recognize that this critical voice is producing thoughts. And those thoughts can be observed, just like any other thoughts.

Perhaps the Judge has been trying, in its own imperfect way, to protect you from disappointment, rejection, or failure. And perhaps you can appreciate that intention while discovering a gentler way to care for yourself.

Imagine placing your thumb and finger on the Judge's volume knob. And gently turning it down. Just a little.

Perhaps the voice becomes softer. Perhaps it seems a little farther away. Perhaps its words simply feel less important.

And as you turn the volume down, notice that you are making room for a different experience. There is the thought. And there is the Observer, noticing the thought.

You may find yourself quietly recognizing... "That is a judgment." "That is a thought." "And I can choose how much attention I give it."

Allow yourself a few moments to experience the possibility of life with a quieter Judge.

[Pause]

And remember, you can return to this control any time it may be helpful.

Part Seven: Acceptance — Making Room for the Experience

Now, allow your attention to move toward another control on your remote. This one looks a little different.

Imagine a small circular opening, rather like the aperture of a camera lens. And beside it is the word Acceptance. Much like the iris of an eye, an aperture opens and widens, allowing more light to enter and more of the world to come into view.

This control allows you to imagine creating more space around an experience. Perhaps there is a feeling present right now. It might be calmness. Curiosity. A little uncertainty. Or something else entirely.

Whatever you notice, imagine that this experience exists within a spacious field of awareness.

And now, gently begin to open the Acceptance aperture. As the opening widens, imagine creating more room around whatever you're experiencing.

Room for the feeling. Room for your breath. Room for the sensations in your body. Room for the many other experiences that are also part of this moment.

Perhaps you can recognize that acceptance is simply an invitation to acknowledge what is already here. You can allow an emotion to be present while remaining free to decide what you would like to do next.

And as you widen this opening, perhaps you discover a little more ease. A little more spaciousness. A little extra room to breathe. A little more freedom to experience this moment as it is.

You might quietly remind yourself... "I can make room for this experience."

And allow that understanding to settle gently into your awareness.

[Pause]

Part Eight: Compassion — Turning Up the Warmth

Now, imagine another control on your remote. This one is a small dimmer switch, much like the kind you might use to adjust the brightness of a lamp. And beside it is the word Compassion.

Imagine a soft, warm light. A gentle glow that represents the kindness and understanding you can extend toward yourself.

Perhaps the light is already shining. And as you slowly move the dimmer upward, imagine that glow becoming a little brighter. A little warmer. A little more welcoming.

Think for a moment about how you might respond to someone you care deeply about. Someone who is having a difficult day. Someone who has made a mistake. Someone who is feeling uncertain or discouraged.

Perhaps you would offer patience. Understanding. Encouragement. Perhaps you would remind them that they are worthy of kindness, even during difficult moments.

And now, imagine offering some of that same kindness to yourself.

You might quietly recognize... "I am learning." "I am growing." "I deserve kindness and understanding."

And perhaps you can feel the warmth of compassion becoming more available to you.

The Judge may still have something to say from time to time. And now there is also this gentle light. A reminder that you can respond to yourself with care.

Allow yourself a moment to enjoy that warmth.

[Pause]

Part Nine: Intensity — Finding a Comfortable Level

Now, let's explore another control. This one is a simple sliding lever. And beside it is the word Intensity.

This slider represents the felt intensity of an emotional experience. As you know, emotions can vary greatly in strength. Sometimes a feeling is gentle and subtle. At other times, it can become powerful and absorbing.

And from the perspective of the Observer, you may find it helpful to imagine adjusting the intensity of an experience.

For now, you might choose a mild feeling to explore. Perhaps a little anticipation. A small concern. Or simply the natural energy of being awake and aware.

Notice how that feeling presents itself. Perhaps there is a sensation somewhere in your body. Perhaps a change in your breathing. Or a subtle quality of energy or movement.

And now, imagine placing your thumb on the Intensity slider. Very gently, begin moving it toward a level that feels comfortable and manageable.

Perhaps you notice a little softening. A little more steadiness. Or perhaps simply the reassuring experience of giving yourself permission to settle.

You can allow the feeling to be present while inviting your body and mind toward greater ease.

And you may discover that different situations call for different levels of intensity. Excitement can be wonderful. Enthusiasm can be energizing. Even uncomfortable emotions can provide valuable information.

This control is simply an invitation to find a level that supports you in this moment.

And take a little time to explore that possibility now. The possibility of being able to change the intensity with which you experience your emotions.

[Pause]

Part Ten: Focus — Choosing Where Attention Goes

And now, let's discover the final control. This one is different from the others.

Instead of a knob or a slider, imagine a small, smooth trackpad. And beside it is the word Focus.

This trackpad represents your ability to gently direct your attention. Throughout the day, your attention naturally moves from one experience to another. A thought. A sound. A memory. A sensation. Something happening around you.

And sometimes, our attention becomes caught in a familiar pattern of thinking. Perhaps replaying something from the past. Or imagining something that might happen in the future.

And now, from the perspective of the Observer, you can begin to notice where your attention has settled.

Imagine placing your thumb gently on the Focus trackpad. And moving it toward the sensation of your breathing. Notice the gentle movement of air. The natural rhythm of your body.

And now, perhaps you can move your attention toward the feeling of your hands. Notice their position. Their temperature. The subtle sensations within them.

And now, gently move your attention toward the sounds around you. Perhaps my voice. Perhaps a distant sound. Perhaps the quiet atmosphere of the room.

And notice how your attention can move. From one experience to another. With curiosity. With intention. With practice.

You may discover that even when a thought continues in the background, your attention can begin exploring something else.

And each time you notice where your attention has wandered, you have another opportunity to choose where it goes next.

Perhaps you might quietly remind yourself... "I can notice where my attention is." "And I can gently guide it."

Take a few moments now to explore this wonderful ability.

[Pause]

Part Eleven: Bringing the Controls Together

And now, take another look at your Observer remote. Notice how naturally it rests in your hand. How familiar its shape may already be becoming.

Five simple controls. Each offering a different possibility.

The Judge, with its volume knob, allowing you to soften the inner critic. Acceptance, with its widening aperture, creating room for your experiences. Compassion, with its gentle dimmer switch, inviting greater kindness and understanding. Intensity, with its sliding lever, helping you explore a more comfortable level of emotional energy. And Focus, with its smooth trackpad, allowing you to gently guide your attention.

And perhaps you're beginning to recognize something important. You can use these controls individually. You can use them together. And you can choose whichever feels most helpful in a particular moment.

Now, I'd like to invite you to imagine an ordinary situation in your life. Something familiar. Perhaps a moment when you feel a little hurried. Or a situation that sometimes brings a small amount of frustration.

Choose something gentle and manageable for this practice.

Imagine yourself in that moment. Notice where you are. What is happening around you. And perhaps what you might be thinking or feeling.

And now, imagine yourself becoming aware of that experience. You notice the thought. You recognize the feeling. And you remember your remote.

Imagine its familiar shape appearing comfortably in your hand. Perhaps you gently curl your fingers around it.

And now, consider which control might be most helpful.

Perhaps you turn down the Judge. Perhaps you widen the Acceptance aperture. Perhaps you brighten the light of Compassion. Perhaps you adjust the Intensity slider. Or perhaps you use the Focus trackpad to guide your attention toward something useful in the present moment.

Take a little time to explore whichever control feels right for you.

[Pause]

And notice how this moment may feel with a little more awareness. Perhaps a little more space. A little more steadiness. A little more understanding. Or simply a little more opportunity to choose your response.

And perhaps you can recognize that this ability is becoming more familiar. You can experience life. And you can observe yourself experiencing life. And from that awareness, new possibilities may become available.

Part Twelve: Taking the Observer With You

Now, imagine yourself once again seated comfortably in your beautiful observation room. Perhaps you can see the landscape beyond the window. The movement of the trees. The drifting clouds. The changing light.

Take a moment to appreciate this place you have created. And the discovery you have made here today..

You have found the Observer. And you have discovered your own personal remote control.

Imagine gently closing your fingers around it one last time. Feeling how naturally it belongs in your hand. Remembering that you can take this remote with you wherever you go. Because the Observer is an ability of your own awareness. And this remote is a symbol of the choices that awareness can offer.

And now, when you're ready, imagine rising from your comfortable chair. Take one last look around your beautiful observation room. And begin making your way toward the door.

As you step outside, notice the familiar landscape. The gentle pathway. The quality of the light.

And as you begin walking back along the path, perhaps you recognize something interesting. You are carrying the Observer with you.

The same awareness that noticed the clouds moving across the sky can notice your thoughts. The same awareness that observed the movement of the trees can recognize your emotions. And the same quiet curiosity that guided you through this journey can accompany you throughout your day.

Perhaps you will begin noticing the Observer during ordinary moments. When you recognize a familiar thought. When you become aware of an emotion beginning to build. When you notice yourself reacting to something.

Each of these moments can become an opportunity to Find The Observer. And perhaps, to imagine your remote appearing comfortably in your hand with its 5 useful controls.

Reconnect with your Observer. Feel the remote in your hand. And choose what may be helpful in that moment.

Part Thirteen: Returning With Awareness

And now, as we begin bringing this experience toward a close, take a moment to appreciate what you've explored today.

You have practiced noticing sensations. Recognizing thoughts. Observing emotions. And imagining a collection of simple controls that can help you relate to your experiences in new ways.

You can return to this observing perspective whenever you remember to do so. Perhaps with a gentle breath. Perhaps by noticing a thought. Or perhaps by simply asking yourself... "What am I experiencing right now?"

And allowing the Observer to become present.

You may discover that this awareness grows more familiar with practice. And that even small moments of noticing can create meaningful opportunities for choice.

It is time to leave this relaxing place.

Slowly, calmly, easily and gently…begin bringing your attention back to the room around you. Notice the surface supporting your body. The position of your hands and feet. 

And perhaps take a comfortable, refreshing breath. Allow a little movement to return to your fingers and toes. Bring a little more movement into your hands and feet.  Perhaps circle your wrists and ankles, or gently shake your hands. And whenever you're ready, you may gently open your eyes.

Bringing with you a sense of curiosity. A sense of possibility. And the understanding that your thoughts and feelings are experiences you can notice.

And from that awareness, you can choose how you'd like to respond.

Thank you for joining me on this unique journey to Find The Observer.

I hope this guided experience has offered you something new and useful; a fresh perspective on the way you experience your thoughts, emotions, and the world around you.

And as you move through your days, remember that The Observer is always available to you. A quiet place of awareness, curiosity, and understanding. A place where you can expand acceptance, compassion, and focus. Where you can explore softening The Judge and adjusting the overall intensity of your experience, simply by shifting a few controls.

Sometimes, all it really takes to make a significant shift in perspective is a moment to pause, notice, and simply observe.

Thank you for sharing this time with me. Go out into the world, beautiful one…and Shine.